Sunday, August 21, 2011

Norton goes home

Dear Norton,

Today you are going home.  I can't really say that I will miss your continually snotty nose, especially when you get all weirdly affectionate and try to wipe it on me.  Sick.  I will miss how you enjoy sitting in front of the a/c window unit.  That was strange.  I will not miss your mean-spirited behavior towards Shammy Boy.  He just wanted to be friends.  There was no need to hiss and bat at him for two weeks.  Luckily, Big Brother Woo kept you in your place.  I will miss having a cat that weighs less than 10 pounds to manhandle, even if you hated it.  But you shouldn't have laid around like this and expected me not to attack you:

I'm only human.

Norton, you have developed so many talents during your stay at the Snoop Abode.  First of all, I bet you didn't know how excellent you are at cat yodeling before you came to stay with us.  You and Mr. Snoop have really perfected that.  Secondly, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy dancing with me as much as I enjoyed dancing with you.  You really do a remarkably can-can.  If only you would be more open-minded, I think you could really go far with your yodeling and dancing. 

We really have to work on your demon eyes. 
It distracts from your superior dancing technique.

TTFN, Norton.  I'll be seeing (and dancing) you soon.  After all, you only live an hour and a half away.

love,

Snoop


PS- I'm giving away your secret.  I'm pretty sure this is you in the Fresh Step ad.


2 comments:

  1. Goodbye Norton!! It's been real. And man, that really does look like him in the ad.

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