Thursday, August 23, 2012

Ugliest Shorts in the World

So I haven't been keeping y'all up to date.  As usual, it is because I am a paranoid weirdo.  Mr. Snoop has been in Texas the past month doing an away rotation.  I didn't want to put it on the internet until he came back (today!) because I'm afraid someone will come attack me in my lonesomeness (issues, I know).

While he has been having a fabulous time in Texas, I've been getting used to my alone time.  Most of the time it looks like this:


Me + Couch + Book + Shammy Boy.  Yeah, SB has pretty much been velcroed to me.  And it has been an issue.  Mr. Snoop is ShamBoy's person.  So in Mr. Snoop's absence he has had to make do with me.  It's been exhausting.  That cat requires tremendous amounts of love, at all times.  I don't know how Mr. Snoop does it.

Otherwise, while Mr. Snoop is away I do things like waste time at Loehmann's.  I was there the other day to take advantage of their end of summer sale.  BCBG and Michael Kors sweaters for $15?  Don't mind if I do.  While perusing the sale, I chanced upon The Ugliest Shorts In The World.  So naturally, I had to try them on.  Without a husband to feed, what else I am to do?  Don't worry, I documented it.  Front, Back, and Side views.  You're welcome.

I present to you:  D&G Diaper Shorts.

Please note the square of fabric in the middle.  It buttons on three sides.  Like a diaper.  And that's elastic at the leg-holes.  Oh but wait.
 
Ah yes.  You can see the monstrosity much better from this angle.  But the best is yet to come. (PS, recognize the evil giggle face?)
 
Shabam! 
 
I know, I know.  I should totally switch over from a I Live Far Away From Everyone So Here's a Blog So You Know I'm Alive-blogger to a fashion blogger.  I mean, check out that last pose.  Why aren't I a model with moves like that?
 
Seriously though, I know Dolce and Gabbana makes bizarre stuff.  But honestly.  Who wants to wear shorts that look like a diaper?  How is that flattering?  For $175 on sale? 
 
Basically it's a good thing Mr. Snoop returns today.  So that I can give up my life of being smothered by a cat while wearing a denim diaper.
 
The end.
 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Weekend + Bad Cat

This past weekend, my cousin and his wife came into town.  It was super hot and even more humid, but we had a great time.  It was so nice to spend time with them.  Mr. Snoop said that they saw more of the city in two days than he had in three years.  He's not wrong.  We did everything!  You name it, we went there.  Even some new places for me: Top of the Rock and FAO Schwarz.  Both were awesome and must-sees.

Here I am at Top of the Rock.  Told you it was hot and humid.  Check out the pollution.  That's the freedom tower waaaay down to the right. 


Here we are at Shake Shack (after the Natural History Museum).  So flipping good.  I love that place.  My mouth is watering just typing this.  


On to more domestic issues.  Let's talk about Shammy Boy.  And what he did Monday night.  Mondays are my day off.  So I deep clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop, etc.  By the end of the day I am worn out.  This past Monday I was enjoying the Olympics and relaxing.  I was winding down for bed, brushing my teeth in the bathroom when I heard a gigantic crash.  Of course I immediately panicked.  Burglars?  Aliens?  Zombies?

No....



Just Shammy Boy.  Knocking over an orchid.  Onto my newly clean floors.  How it landed upright but exploded so much dirt everywhere, I will never know.  So I lugged the vacuum back up out of the basement.  And don't you know the bag was full.  Back down to the basement, got a new bag, and cleaned the orchid explosion.

And the culprit just laid there and gazed while I cleaned up his mess, smirking and doing his best attempt at an innocent and angelic face:

Look at my pink nose and pink ears... aren't I just precious?


Thursday, August 2, 2012

Random Thoughts

Here's what is going through my mind this week.....

- Summer.  In New York it is too dang short.  In a month it will be feeling like fall.  I'm sure someday when I (hopefully) live someplace hot again, I will miss this.  But when the cold and dark weather drags on and on I would love a summer longer than 2.5 months!

- Olympic Gymnastics.  Oh dear.  I just cried and cried watching Team USA win the all-around.  And those poor sweet Russian girls, bless their hearts.  I felt so bad for them and wanted to throttle the camera people getting in their faces while they sobbed.  They are children, jeez, give them some space!  Seeing Jordan Wieber smile as she hit tumbling pass after tumbling pass just did me in.  And isn't Gabby Douglas just the most darling thing you have ever seen?  Too cute for words.  I can't stand it.

- Chick-Fil-A.  I like my delicious chicken served by well-mannered teenagers saying "My Pleasure" without a side of politics.  Any politics.  I'm just annoyed about everyone's reaction to it, left and right.  What's wrong with live and let live?  On both sides. 

- I have lots of projects around the home coming up.  Including a cabinet that I'm re-finshing to (hopefully) consolidate all of my craft storage.  I may have to share if they turn out pretty.

- Olympics in general.  I'm probably the only person who is not the hugest fan of swimming.  It all looks the same to me.  Plus Michael Phelps needs subtitles in his interviews.  Such a party pooper, I know.  I do love diving, even though I'm constantly terrified that someone will die.  And I can't wait for track and field!

Hope y'all are doing well!