Ugliest Shorts in the World

So I haven't been keeping y'all up to date.  As usual, it is because I am a paranoid weirdo.  Mr. Snoop has been in Texas the past month doing an away rotation.  I didn't want to put it on the internet until he came back (today!) because I'm afraid someone will come attack me in my lonesomeness (issues, I know).

While he has been having a fabulous time in Texas, I've been getting used to my alone time.  Most of the time it looks like this:

Me + Couch + Book + Shammy Boy.  Yeah, SB has pretty much been velcroed to me.  And it has been an issue.  Mr. Snoop is ShamBoy's person.  So in Mr. Snoop's absence he has had to make do with me.  It's been exhausting.  That cat requires tremendous amounts of love, at all times.  I don't know how Mr. Snoop does it.

Otherwise, while Mr. Snoop is away I do things like waste time at Loehmann's.  I was there the other day to take advantage of their end of summer sale.  BCBG and Michael Kors sweaters for $15?  Don't mind if I do.  While perusing the sale, I chanced upon The Ugliest Shorts In The World.  So naturally, I had to try them on.  Without a husband to feed, what else I am to do?  Don't worry, I documented it.  Front, Back, and Side views.  You're welcome.

I present to you:  D&G Diaper Shorts.

Please note the square of fabric in the middle.  It buttons on three sides.  Like a diaper.  And that's elastic at the leg-holes.  Oh but wait.

 

Ah yes.  You can see the monstrosity much better from this angle.  But the best is yet to come. (PS, recognize the evil giggle face?)

 

Shabam! 

 

I know, I know.  I should totally switch over from a I Live Far Away From Everyone So Here's a Blog So You Know I'm Alive-blogger to a fashion blogger.  I mean, check out that last pose.  Why aren't I a model with moves like that?

 

Seriously though, I know Dolce and Gabbana makes bizarre stuff.  But honestly.  Who wants to wear shorts that look like a diaper?  How is that flattering?  For $175 on sale? 

 

Basically it's a good thing Mr. Snoop returns today.  So that I can give up my life of being smothered by a cat while wearing a denim diaper.

 

The end.

 

Weekend + Bad Cat

This past weekend, my cousin and his wife came into town.  It was super hot and even more humid, but we had a great time.  It was so nice to spend time with them.  Mr. Snoop said that they saw more of the city in two days than he had in three years.  He's not wrong.  We did everything!  You name it, we went there.  Even some new places for me: Top of the Rock and FAO Schwarz.  Both were awesome and must-sees.

Here I am at Top of the Rock.  Told you it was hot and humid.  Check out the pollution.  That's the freedom tower waaaay down to the right. 

Here we are at Shake Shack (after the Natural History Museum).  So flipping good.  I love that place.  My mouth is watering just typing this.  

On to more domestic issues.  Let's talk about Shammy Boy.  And what he did Monday night.  Mondays are my day off.  So I deep clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop, etc.  By the end of the day I am worn out.  This past Monday I was enjoying the Olympics and relaxing.  I was winding down for bed, brushing my teeth in the bathroom when I heard a gigantic crash.  Of course I immediately panicked.  Burglars?  Aliens?  Zombies?

No....



Just Shammy Boy.  Knocking over an orchid.  Onto my newly clean floors.  How it landed upright but exploded so much dirt everywhere, I will never know.  So I lugged the vacuum back up out of the basement.  And don't you know the bag was full.  Back down to the basement, got a new bag, and cleaned the orchid explosion.

And the culprit just laid there and gazed while I cleaned up his mess, smirking and doing his best attempt at an innocent and angelic face:

Look at my pink nose and pink ears... aren't I just precious?



Random Thoughts

Here's what is going through my mind this week.....

- Summer.  In New York it is too dang short.  In a month it will be feeling like fall.  I'm sure someday when I (hopefully) live someplace hot again, I will miss this.  But when the cold and dark weather drags on and on I would love a summer longer than 2.5 months!

- Olympic Gymnastics.  Oh dear.  I just cried and cried watching Team USA win the all-around.  And those poor sweet Russian girls, bless their hearts.  I felt so bad for them and wanted to throttle the camera people getting in their faces while they sobbed.  They are children, jeez, give them some space!  Seeing Jordan Wieber smile as she hit tumbling pass after tumbling pass just did me in.  And isn't Gabby Douglas just the most darling thing you have ever seen?  Too cute for words.  I can't stand it.

- Chick-Fil-A.  I like my delicious chicken served by well-mannered teenagers saying "My Pleasure" without a side of politics.  Any politics.  I'm just annoyed about everyone's reaction to it, left and right.  What's wrong with live and let live?  On both sides. 

- I have lots of projects around the home coming up.  Including a cabinet that I'm re-finshing to (hopefully) consolidate all of my craft storage.  I may have to share if they turn out pretty.

- Olympics in general.  I'm probably the only person who is not the hugest fan of swimming.  It all looks the same to me.  Plus Michael Phelps needs subtitles in his interviews.  Such a party pooper, I know.  I do love diving, even though I'm constantly terrified that someone will die.  And I can't wait for track and field!

Hope y'all are doing well!

Radio Rant

I'm going to whine now, ok?  It's ok if you don't feel like reading.  I'm feeling bratty.

By and large, Mr. Snoop and I have had a marvelous 3 years in New York.  It has been a great experience.  Let's face it, I never would have lived up here if Mr. Snoop hadn't gotten into med school in this area.  It's been a great opportunity.  And yes, certain things drive me crazy.  Like the way people drive, or any given moment at the grocery store.  But I try to focus on the many positives: the seasons, proximity to the city, great friends, wonderful job, etc. 

But then there's the radio.  Don't get me started on our local NPR affiliate.  Oh but I will.  First of all, there are four week and half long pledge drives a year.  Count 'em.  And the afternoon anchor (Deejay? What do I call it?) is terrible.  She can't get through a single sentence with stuttering or um-ing once.  Neither can I, but I'm not on the radio.  Listening to her do an interview is like stabbing a knife in your ears.  I don't get it.  This station comes out of the city.  Can't you find better talent?  It's New York Freaking City.

But I deal.  First World Problems, right?  It's so tough being privileged and listening to NPR, I know.

Yesterday I was listening to the radio, a station I like, while running errands.  They played Lyle Lovett.  Yes, in New York.  For the second time in as many days.  And the first time I heard Lyle played in New York, ever.  Unheard of.  It was incredible.  I was rocking out the "Private Conversation" and thinking of writing a special happy letter to the radio station for playing my jam.

And then the deejay came on.  This is what he said.  About my boy Lyle.  In a nasty, snide tone. 


"There's Lyle Lovett.  Sounds like something out of a barn!  A little hoedown music there."

--record scratch--

Excuse Me?!  Have you ever actually HEARD hillbilly music?  Who are you!?

And therein lies my problem with New York.  There are a number of people (not everyone, of course) here that have the attitude that anything/one not from the greater NYC area is provincial, inbred, and probably illiterate.  Pardon me, but if your job is in music and you work for a station that bills itself as playing a wide variety of alternative music, maybe you should educate yourself a bit.  There are many different types of music that come out of the South.  Some do sound like they come out of "barns."  But that ain't it.  For a part of the world that loves to think of the South as backward and prejudiced, there sure is a lot of close-mindedness up here.


And no, this post was not really about Lyle Lovett.  Thanks for listening.


PS: If you want to hear "Private Conversation," go here.  It's not a music video but it is the song. 

The Snoops in New York

During the first week of July, my parents came to visit Mr. Snoop and I in New York.  We had such a great time hanging out and seeing the sights.  The weather really showed off for them that week.

Here are some pictures from the trip:

As you can see, we hit it all.  Here's the guide:

1. The text we sent my brother.  To taunt him.  He was writing a paper. 

2. View from the Brooklyn Bridge.

3.  Mama Cat checking out the South Street Seaport.

4.  Neato clouds and light.

5. My dad getting his Irish on at McSorley's

6. Patio at Brooklyn Bridge Park.

7. Brooklyn Bridge.

8. Dinner after walking the HighLine.

So Maybe I'm Running Again

I have a new old hobby.  That's right.  Big news.  I'm running again.  Running is probably overstating it as my pace falls more under the category of jogging.  Honestly, I never thought I'd run ever again.  Haven't run at all since college.  But given the crazy that was going on back home, my beloved zumba just wasn't cutting it any more.  Plus after three solid years of zumba-ing, the routines had begun to seem the same. 

This all happened a month or so ago when the family stress level back in Texas reached a pinnacle.  And I felt the urge to go for a run.  Two very fast miles fueled by Miranda Lambert's "Gunpowder and Lead" on repeat later, I felt better.  The next day I was hurting, y'all.  Which I guess is what happens when you run two hard and fast miles after not running in years.  Anyway, much to my surprise, I've kept up the whole running thing. 

Mr. Snoop runs several times a week, but he often runs on a local high school track.  I have too much PTSD from my own high school track days to do that.  So I've found some pretty sweet trails near our house.  I saw two red-headed woodpeckers on my run yesterday.  They came out of nowhere and dive-bombed me in the middle of Bombs Over Baghdad.  Well played, woodpeckers.

Not so hard to keep up the habit when the trails look like this:

Or this:

I've even splurged --read: Target and TJ Maxx-- on new running shorts.  Since the ones I have are literally 10 years old.  And I've got a pretty awesome music mix with some Nicki Minaj, Kanye, and Three Six Mafia.  Any suggestions for good workout songs that I should add to my list?

In conclusion, please enjoy these fantastic shades that I've been rockin on the trail.  A thank-you gift from the mission trip.  Don't be jealous:

New Orleans 2012

During the last week of June, Mr. Snoop and I took 26 (yep, count 'em) teenagers (14 - 18 yrs old) to New Orleans on a Mission Trip.  We were not the only chaperones, thankfully.  This was Mr. Snoop's first time as a chaperone and he did swimmingly.  The kiddos called him Dr. J.  Pronounced "doctah," naturally. 

2 weeks later I have just now stopped having nightmares about losing a child on the trip.

Last year the chaperones had a gnarly stomach bug, but this year the pestilence was limited to one ear infection and two cases of heat exhaustion among the kiddos.  Heat exhaustion is scary, y'all.  Thanks to Dr. J/Mr. Snoop, we got them under control quickly before things got bad.

Like last year, I think the kids really fell in love with New Orleans, of course.  They were so tiny during Katrina that they don't really remember it.  They know what went on now, of course.  It is a real experience for kids from New York to spend a week in New Orleans.  Definitely a different culture.  And much more hot.  But they really worked hard and got along well.  I was proud of them. 

I have tons of great pictures, but I don't feel comfortable putting close-up, easily identifiable shots of the kids on here.  So enjoy these shots of Mr. Snoop working hard :)  And yes, we did tie-dye as a group.