This past weekend I came down with a cold which turned me into a snotty mess.
[Side Note: You know you have true friends when they'll eat pizza with you while your nose is a snot volcano. Thanks for not vomiting, Keely and J].
From February to late April of last year, I had the whopping cough. True story. It was an epic saga involving a staph infection in my nose, 3 types of antibiotics, reactive airways, steroids, and traumatizing anyone in my path with my horrendous hacking. Among other things. Yes, I was vaccinated. But you can still get it, there was an outbreak in my area, and I work with kids. See this article.
[2nd Side Note: Please vaccinate your kids. That sh*t is for real].
Anyway, ever since my battle with whopping cough, the slightest lung irritation turns into a full-blown, hacking cough. Here's the flow chart from this time around:
minor cold + profuse snot ----> post-nasal drip ----> hacking cough
Mr. Snoop, being a good student doctor, listened to my lung sounds last night. There was wheezing, at the sound of which he promptly became a 8.5 months pregnant woman and got all sad and sorry for me. Apparently wheezing really gets to his hormones.
Please keep in mind Mr. Snoop was not this way when I was regularly hacking to the point of gasping for air, crying, gagging, and losing bladder control when I had whooping cough. [Again. This sh*t is no joke. Vaccinate your kids]. Mr. Snoop is not really what I'd call the "sensitive" type.
Whatevs.
So those of you who know Mr. Snoop in person now have the secret to his soft side: just wheeze a little and he'll melt. Like butter.
The End.







